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Grinding to a halt

Slowly my life is grinding to a hold. Every day I need more care and moving is getting more and more difficult. Els is having a day job taking care of me.
My leg is getting even thicker and yesterday a specialized physiotherapist has brought a special tool to reduce the thickness. On Wednesday radiotherapy has been planned for a different spot in my belly. The radiotherapist yet found a possibility that had a good perspective to reduce the fluid in my leg.
On Monday my son Thomas arrives at Schiphol airport. At this right moment he finds himself in Singapore. That will be his third visit this year. It’s obvious. The end is near.

5 comments to Grinding to a halt

  • Sending love and peace to you Sander.

    Your fellow blogger and friend in Oregon,


  • Stephen

    Dear Sander,

    During harsh treatment events and at random points along the way we speculate how close to the end we are. We do so I think to prepare for the inevitable, the frighfully sad break from the future of those we love. I’m a few years older than you, (1948), diagnosed in December, 2002. A year out from a stem cell transplant, I’m ten years older than when I went in, physically, but I remain strong in spirit inspired by those like you who continue to step each day into the life we are given. Such a wondrous gift. I appreciate my life every day of late, in contrast to the years of strength and good health that I somehow came to think of as my deserved station, not simply an accident of birth, a most lucky birth.

    Selfishly, I’m sad to hear you talk of the end. I’m not wanting to think about this space being empty. It reminds me of all the words piled up against the wall of my soul, all the thoughts and harbored feelings for others that I must release before they are trapped and left unsaid for eternity.

    I’ve learned from you Sander. The truth may be hard, it may be sad, but it is.

    Bless You My Brother.

  • Kirsten Nielsen

    Kære Sander og Els.
    We do think so much of you. It is so good that all ” the Boys ” will be together with you.
    We love you. ” Tak for alt “.
    Kærlig hilsen

  • Lileng

    Sander, no words to express many of our shared feelings, except a prayer for comfort and peace. I am from Singapore and just returned from a visit to your lovely country. My sister lives in Netherlands. My brother-in-law passed on last year, I sat at his garden reflecting and remembering the precious memories of good times together. May your son’s presence fills your days with joy and happiness.

  • Lynn

    Sander. I am in England right now and my heart is aching for you and your loved ones. We are all rooting for you, all hoping for a miracle, all lamenting life’s lack of the wonders most needed, most longed for. Hang in there. Sending huge hugs. XX

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